The Ugliest Christmas Sweaters That Money Can Buy

Tis the season for ugly Christmas sweater parties, amirite?

While it may be a millennial trend, ugly holiday sweaters are nothing new. In fact, many of the best, most fantastic sweaters you can wear to these parties are of the vintage variety. Unfortunately, however, retro Christmas sweaters aren’t always easy to find – especially this time of year.

Ugly Sweaters
Blizzard Bay / Tipsy Elves / Blizzard Bay via Amazon

That’s why you may just have to settle for one of these modern takes on the timeless and tacky trend. Don’t worry, they still live up to the name – if not even more so.

 

Presumptuous Present Sweater

Xmas Present Sweater
HalloweenCostumes.com

For all the men who think they’re Santa’s gift to women, there’s this lovely option. We suppose it’s a bit better than the Lonely Island’s “Dick in a Box” anyway.

Snowman Balls Sweater

Snowman Balls Sweater
HalloweenCostumes.com

Of course, if you want to be really tasteless classy, you could always go for the Snowman Balls sweater instead.

Christmas Cat Sweater

Holiday Cat Sweater
Tipsy Elves via Amazon

This seriously festive, vintage-inspired sweater is absolutely the cat’s meow!

Black Cat Holiday Sweater

Festive Black Cat Sweater
Blizzard Bay via Amazon

Can’t get enough of festive patterns? Not only does this sweater have plenty of patterned stripes, it even has a matching cat applique you can pet.

Christmas Rooster Sweater

Holiday Rooster Sweater
Blizzard Bay via Amazon

Not crazy about cats? For the folks out there that are absolute chicken fanatics, there’s this lovely option.

Santa Riding a T-Rex & Three Wise Raptors Sweaters

T-Rex Santa Sweater

Perhaps you have a kid that loves dinosaurs – trust us, there’s no shortage of ugly Christmas dinosaur sweaters. Really, your options are pretty much infinite.

Plush Reindeer Ugly Christmas Sweater

Plush Reindeer Sweater
HalloweenCostumes.com

What could be more ridiculous than a sweater featuring stuffed reindeer head?

Crackling Fireplace Christmas Sweater

Crackling Fire Sweater
MorphCostumes

For those folks who like to be extra af, this animated option uses your smartphone to provide added ambiance. (It’s basically animated!)

Merry AF Sweater

Merry AF Sweater
YourSassyGrandma via Etsy

Just when you thought it couldn’t get tackier, the folks at YourSassyGrandma are here to completely rock your world. Tinsel? Check. Santa boob? Got it. Reversible sequins? Heck yeah. Elf legs? Got that too. Plus, it even has a drink holder. What more could anyone ever ask for?

Breastfeeding Reindeer Sexy Ugly Christmas Sweater

Reindeer Boob Sweater
YourSassyGrandma via Etsy

Oh, you thought that was all they have to offer? Hah! For unabashed breastfeeding moms, there’s the ever-popular reindeer boob option. It even comes with a reindeer nose pastie.

Wine Holder Stocking Sweater

Wine Holder Stocking Sweater
YourSassyGrandma via Etsy

Not a mom yet? Well, then it’s time to get your drink on! For all the true wine-lovers, they’ve made an ugly Christmas sweater that comes complete with a bottle-holding stocking.

Vomiting Polar Bear Sweater

Light-Up Vomiting Polar Bear Sweater
Blizzard Bay via Amazon

Looking for a sweater to represent how you’ll feel the day after a night of holiday partying? This non-denominational, light-up, vomiting polar bear is perfect!