One Loyal Customer Winds Up in Hilarious Battle With Unknown Nemesis

A man from Melbourne, Australia, found himself in the midst of an escalating battle with another customer after declaring himself the “Customer of the Week.”

In what is likely the most hilarious war I’ve ever seen, one man has been posting about his struggle to be the Customer of the Week at his local coffee shop. And while I’m really rooting for him to come out victorious, I’ll leave it up to you to decide if he has.

Mirror

It starts with Fraser Harvey, a regular at a coffee place called Sensory Lab. Unsatisfied with the lack of any sort of loyalty program, Fraser decides to take matters into his own hands and declare himself the Customer of the Week. He chose a really stellar photo of himself, too.

“Thanks for the Coffees” – Customer of the Week

coffee customer of the week battle
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This title was presented for outstanding purchasing of coffee in the store.

The next time Fraser stops by for a coffee, though, he finds that he has competition. And not only does he have a new nemesis, but she has framed her Customer of the Week photo, and proclaimed her self the customer of not just this week, but every week.

coffee customer of the week battle
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This Means War

So what does he do? He presents them with a much larger Customer of the Week proclamation, in a much larger frame. Impressive, right?

coffee customer of the week battle
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Unfortunately for our friend here, this nemesis seems to have taken a masterclass in trolling. She’s not ready to back down.

coffee customer of the week battle
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coffee customer of the week battle
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Fraser is not ready to take this lying down, however, and decides to introduce a few new loyalty programs at Sensory Lab.

The Fraser Harvey Memorial Coffee Loyalty Programme

coffee customer of the week battle
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When you buy 8 coffees, Fraser gets a free coffee.

New Staff Uniforms

coffee customer of the week battle
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Fraser also made some new shirts for the staff to wear, featuring their #1 customer.

coffee customer of the week battle
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Nemesis Gets Sensory Lab Tattoo

In a huge blow to our buddy Fraser, his nemesis (named Harriet, he has learned) got herself a Sensory Lab tattoo. That’s commitment.

coffee customer of the week battle
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But after mulling it over for a couple of days, our dude Fraser decides that the tattoo is not the end of the war.

coffee customer of the week battle
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But the Best Part of the Battle?

coffee customer of the week battle
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After the whole ordeal, Harriet’s coworkers pulled the ultimate troll move: they posted up Fraser’s photo at work as the Employee of the Month.