Just Kitten Around with 23 Paw-some Cat Jokes!

If you’re allergic to cats or puns, turn back now! We’re serving up a piping hot bowl of cat jokes. Dig in!

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What is it called when a cat wins first place at a dog show?

A cat-has-trophy.

What is a cat’s favorite book?

The Great Catsby.

Why don’t cats play poker?

Too many cheetahs.

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.

Why don’t cats like online shopping?

They prefer a catalogue

Who delivers presents to cats?

Santa Claws!

What do you get when you cross an angry cat with a famous painter?

Clawed Monet

Why was the cat afraid of the tree?

Because of its bark

What’s smarter than a talking cat?

A spelling bee!

What did the cat on the smart phone say?

Can you hear meow?

Why are cats so good at video games?

Because they have nine lives!

What do you call a cat that wears make up?

Glamourpuss.

What kind of sports car does a cat drive?

A Furrari.

What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote?

Paws!

What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?

Quicksand.

What part of a cat has the most fur?

The outside.

Why do cats make terrible storytellers?

They only have one tail!

Where did the kittens go for the school field trip?

The mewseum!

If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?

Their paws.

Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t?

Your lap.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

How many cats can you put into an empty box?

Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.

And now, one of the best cat jokes of all time:

One of my neighbors owns several cats. On a recent visit, she introduced them to me: “That’s Astrophe, that’s Erpillar, that’s Aract, that’s Alogue.”

“Where on earth did you get such unusual names?” I asked.

“Oh, those are their last names,” she explained. “Their first names are Cat.”