We already covered cat jokes, so it’s only fair that we give some love to man’s best friend. Are these dog jokes ridiculously funny or just ridiculous? You decide!
What did the Dalmatian say after eating his dinner?
Wow, that hit the spot!
What kind of dog never barks?
A hush puppy!
If Indiana Jones was a dog, what would he study?
What did the mama dog say to her pups?
“We’re eating dinner soon—don’t fill up on homework!”
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound, obviously.
Did you hear about the puppy who was best friends with a miniature horse?
It was a real dog and pony show…
What do you get if you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on!
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s too hard to run in squares or triangles.
What do you call a dog that practices mindfulness and meditation?
What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
He stole the whole dang show!
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
They all have two left feet!
What do you call a dog that does stage magic?
A labracadabrador! (Try saying that three times real fast…)
I won’t let my dog play with the remote control anymore.
He keeps hitting the paws button.
What should you do if your dog tries to eat a dictionary?
Take the words right out of his mouth!
What did the cowboy say when his beloved dog ran away?
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a warm rabbit?
A chili dog on a toasted bun.
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags a tail, and the other tags a whale…
This one is a little bit of a thinker…
I hoped to see a bunch of different animals at the zoo, but it turned out they only had one little dog.
It was a shih-tzu.
And finally, here’s a quote from Groucho Marx to tickle your funny bone:
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”