Dad Jokes to Laugh, Groan and Roll Your Eyes To

Dad jokes are infamously corny and groan-inducing, which is why we’ve decided to subject our viewers to some of the worst ones around. If you like clever jokes full of wit and wisdom – keep looking. These corny jokes go out to the dads!

dad-jokes

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.

I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.

Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.

Dad, can you put my shoes on?
No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.

I’ll call you later.
Don’t call me later, call me Dad.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho Cheese

The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.

5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it.

A furniture store keeps calling me.
All I wanted was one night stand.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole destroying.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant

What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta.

Want to hear a joke about paper?
Nevermind it’s tearable.

Want to hear a joke about construction?
I’m still working on it.

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
He let out a little wine.