Christmas Dad Jokes to Keep the Season Bright… or Something Like That

Ho ho ho!  Christmas is just around the corner, and you’re very likely to be confronted with Christmas jokes from either your dad or a distant random uncle at some point in the next week or two.

Why not beat them to the punch with a dose of their own medicine?  Better yet, if you are the dad, this is a great way to start getting prepared!


Christmas Dad Jokes

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?


Why didn’t people like the new Apple Mac themed advent calendars?

They didn’t have any Windows

Which of Santa’s reindeer has the worst manners?


What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet

What did the farmer get for Christmas?

A cow-culator

Why did Santa’s helper see a psychologist?

Because he had low elf-esteem

Why did no-one bid for Rudolph or Blitzen on eBay?

They were too deer

What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?

You get tinsel-itus

What do elves sing to Santa?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow

How do we know what Father Christmas has for dinner?

He posts it on InSantagram

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent Calendars?

Because their days are numbered

What’s a hairdresser’s favorite Christmas song?

Oh comb all ye faithful

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus weighed 7lbs when he was born?

They had a weigh in the manger

Who’s Santa’s favorite pop star?


How does Darth Vader know what you are getting for Christmas?

He can feel your presents

How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey?

On the dark side

What do you call a smelly Santa?

Farter Christmas

Where does Santa stay when he’s on holidays in January?

At a Ho-ho-tel

One time Father Christmas lost his underpants.

That’s how he got the name Saint Knickerless

What kind of motorcycle does Santy ride?

A “Holly” Davidson

What’s a dog’s favorite carol?

Bark, the herald angels sing

What’s a mathematician’s favorite Christmas snack?

A mince pi