Ho ho ho! Christmas is just around the corner, and you’re very likely to be confronted with Christmas jokes from either your dad or a distant random uncle at some point in the next week or two.
Why not beat them to the punch with a dose of their own medicine? Better yet, if you are the dad, this is a great way to start getting prepared!
Christmas Dad Jokes
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
“Horn”-aments
Why didn’t people like the new Apple Mac themed advent calendars?
They didn’t have any Windows
Which of Santa’s reindeer has the worst manners?
Rude-olph
What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet
What did the farmer get for Christmas?
A cow-culator
Why did Santa’s helper see a psychologist?
Because he had low elf-esteem
Why did no-one bid for Rudolph or Blitzen on eBay?
They were too deer
What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus
What do elves sing to Santa?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow
How do we know what Father Christmas has for dinner?
He posts it on InSantagram
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent Calendars?
Because their days are numbered
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite Christmas song?
Oh comb all ye faithful
How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus weighed 7lbs when he was born?
They had a weigh in the manger
Who’s Santa’s favorite pop star?
Beyon-sleigh
How does Darth Vader know what you are getting for Christmas?
He can feel your presents
How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey?
On the dark side
What do you call a smelly Santa?
Farter Christmas
Where does Santa stay when he’s on holidays in January?
At a Ho-ho-tel
One time Father Christmas lost his underpants.
That’s how he got the name Saint Knickerless
What kind of motorcycle does Santy ride?
A “Holly” Davidson
What’s a dog’s favorite carol?
Bark, the herald angels sing
What’s a mathematician’s favorite Christmas snack?
A mince pi
